Two Snow Whites!

"What's On The Environment"?

"Shit On The Environment"!
This century's crap & how to clean it up!

One day, I was asked the question,
"What can be done to help improve
the condition of the environment"?
In a nutshell, my answer was,
There's
"Shit On It"!

The version of my answer for which in all the world,
there doesn't exist a nutshell,
big enough to stuff it into.
Is presented here.


There's a big stink being made, over one of the biggest
problems which the green of the earth's face, faces in the 21st century.
It's perhaps the worlds number 1 environmental problem
and it consists of a shit-load of number 2.

This unsightly issue, worthy of much tissue.
Threatens to cover earth's green face in a mask,
unavailable at any Swedish Spa.
A muddy facial of sludgy, pasty, "kaka" brown.

The incredibly vast, seemingly never ending,
mountainous amounts of human defecation on the Earth.
Usually achieves it's greatest degree of accumulation,
wherever humans can be found living.
It especially likes to "log jam" along the foothills.
Since human defecation has the amazingly uncanny ability
to "roll down hill".

One possible solution is for the world's human population
to just simply stop eating. However, this proposal,
which is surprisingly popular amongst many environmentalists.
Is not without it's drawbacks. Chief amongst them, is the
slightly annoying, thus far unsolved, problematic fact.
Of that everyone will "die"!

Another possible solution, but one much less
popular amongst environmentalists.
Is for science and technology to develop
"Eatable Air".

However, it would have to be air that is not only eatable,
but also capable of providing the earth's entire human population
with a level of nutrition which would make air the chosen solution.

If it's to be selected above the third proposed, possible solution.
It's proponents being many U.S. federal politicians and
Wall Street investors alike. The plan is to just simply make McDonald's
the only food source available to the entire population on earth.

Those driving this proposal have even agreed to throw a bonus
in the deal. A bonus for humanity which would be made possible
by the sheer volume of Big Macs that would be sold world wide.

They have promised to make available,
kid's "Happy To Be Eating" meals.
They'll be available in all, previously starving to death,
"third world" Countries...........................only
"Free of Charge"............................
with every purchase of four adult "combination meals"..............
mail in "Rebate" required..........................
mail to U.S. corporate headquarters............................
only "First Class" air mail accepted...................

"That's It"!,
"It's That Easy"!


However, the proposed McDonald's "solution" has faced some eye
opening,well informed criticism from noted humanitarian groups.
As well as opposition from environmentalists, who claim that the
styrofoam box, Big Mac packaging will essentially replace the worlds
geological landscapes. Simply by covering the entire earth.

However, the humanitarians argued that,
consideringthe health and nutritional values of Big Mac's.
The currently starving segments of the earths population,
would face better odds of surviving with a continuation of
famished conditions. Noting that under starving conditions,
they will at least live an average of 5 to 7 years longer.
Also, that those were extremely generous, conservative estimates.

Many of the worlds leading doctors are convinced of that to just
simply make Big Mac's permanently unavailable to starving humans.
After having given the "golden arch" burger to them for 1 week.
Is alone, such an enormous health and nutritional benefit,
that they may live as long as anybody on earth.
On just a steady diet of pure starvation after that.

They said that the greatest obstacle in achieving
this kind of longevity amongst the starving,
especially after the indulgently corruptive effects of eating
Big Mac's for a week. Is the difficulty of applying the degree of
discipline required, to maintain a "starvation" only diet.

Making the humanitarians' case even stronger,
was their reminder of that a solution to the problem of
"global human defecation pollution".
Is the foremost, if not the only,
reason for the summit meeting and it's discussions.
Adding that, "starvation", is more beneficial than Big Mac's,
in this area as well.

After that, with the proposed McDonald's solution, pretty much put away
like a "Hamburglar" thats been gang tackled by a mob of arresting citizens.
The focus went back to the "eatable air" possible solution.

Many doubted that air, even if made eatable,
would be nutritionally adequate. While at the same time,
producing an exit waste which is equivalent in its solid material content,
to the amount which it contained as air, prior to it's consumption.

Of which, as we all know, "air" contains no amount of solid material.
With the single exception of a very particular air.
An air which has long baffled and perplexed physicists
with its unique ability to defy gravity.
While blanketing Los Angeles, Ca.

It appears as if though, even if science and technology does indeed
manage to produce this magically invisible food source.
That still, Los Angeles will have much shit to deal with.
Not to mention, that they will still continue to have much
"human defecation pollution"
to to deal with also.

Many scientists have long believed that the successful
development of eatable air. Would be the most "ideal"
solution to a number of current global problems.

The main reason why the development and production of eatable
air is extremely attractive to experts and officials. Is because air,
is extremely abundant and always readily available.
Which is due to the fact, that air can be found
throughout all countries of the world in great quantities.
Also, it can be obtained cheaply. Unless of course,
it's ordered as an after market upgrade on most imports.

Once again, the only area of concern to scientists and the officials
of the world's governments, in regards to eatable air, is Los Angeles.
Amongst that air, the main foreseeable problem would be that
of the air in the South Central area of Los Angeles.

Scientists say that what troubles them, are the extremely great amounts
of "audible" pollution in that air. That particular air is of particular
concerndue to it's loud, dense concentration of "rap" supposed music.

The scientists' and officials' fear is derived from the history of
South Central L.A.'s authorities inability to put a dent in the
crime levels of the area. Thus resulting in a very unusual reaction to
the problem by those authorities. Which has been their retreating
conclusion as to what might be the cause of the area's
"unstoppable crime" phenomena. The unanimously accepted
assumption amongst the experts, is that there's just
"something in the air" down there.

This astonishing disclosure by authorities and experts in many fields,
has revealed their concern. The concern is in regards to that particular
air being made eatable. Since it's new form would enable the easily
achievable transport of the dangerous air in a nearly endless variety of
ways. Resulting in the possibility of that air could officially become "contraband". In effect, that would be a scenario in which
air would be "illegal" to possess.

The dangerous, crime inducing, rap polluted, South Central air,
could easily end up all over the world in almost no time at all.
The ensuing global catastrophe would be one of uncontrollable
crime waves and completely chaotic total anarchy.

Including things such as global assaults, armed robbery, gang presence,
drive-by shootings and murder committed in no less than the 3rd degree.
But usually in much higher degrees, since the terrifying terribleness
of the situation would certainly cause the invention of murder
committed in much higher degrees than the mere 3rd.

Some fear it can even reach the 8th or 9th degree.
Although they currently don't even have a clue
as to what that kind of murder even is,
or what it might look like. They just know that it's
really, really, really, really bad!
When translated into everyday English,
all of that fancy lawyer talk means that it's
really, really, really, really not good!

But don't hastily rush to conclude that if it were under such
circumstances, the world might still have a ray of hope. Since many
leading authorities strongly believe that in addition to those devastating
effects, the South Central air may also spawn the global proliferation
of "Dirty, Nasty Ho's". As well as the world's male population engaging in
the wildly popular"Ghetto Fabulous" practice of "Pimp'n Out Of Control".
Even worse yet, is that countless multitudes of people
may also be taking things "Off The Hook"!

A globe engulfing horrific nightmare of that magnitude,
would mean that places like a small, picturesque, two cow,
family owned dairy farm in the middle of the Swiss Alps.
Could be the scene of a string of events in which the middle aged husband/father might come up to the "crib", "rolling hard"
on his Dayton clad Swiss tractor. All the while blazing a "fat blunt"
as his "beeatch" comes running through the field talk'n bout
how their teenage daughter ran off with her "pimp'n" thug boyfriend
to get pregnant........... "again".
Also, they took the Glock 9mm.
Not to mention, the entire inventory of dads favorite,
"purple" Kool-Aid!

However, there is a potentially bright side to having "eatable air" in the
world. Since the possible development and production of eatable air
would have an extremely beneficial effect upon the problem of
"global human defecation pollution". Since after the air would be eaten
and digested. The entire population of people on the planet would
do nothing more than just simply...........................
"pass air"!